P.O. Box 53055    
Los Angeles, CA 90053   

FATHERLESS AMERICA #1

NO ONE CARES IF DAD DISAPPEARS

In the fascinating book, The Camera Never Blinks, CBS's Dan Rather and Mickey Herskowitz describe the hectic journalistic life Rather has had to lead over the years. Now, this book was written back in 1977, so, of course, the last couple of decades have added even more stress. Here's probably the most poignant story in the book:

"I came home one evening to find Daniel [his son] entertaining a small friend in the living room, sprawled on the rug in front of the set. I stuck my head in and said, `Hi, son,' but I could see that he was involved in whatever show he was watching.

"As I turned away to greet Jean in the kitchen, I heard his friend say in a quizzical voice, `Who was that?'

"And Daniel answered, without looking up, `Oh, that's Dan Rather.'
"That will make you laugh. But it should also make you cry."

Well, friend, that story DOES kind of make us cry . . . and it's only the very tip of an iceberg we want to sail toward all this week. Dan Rather, Junior, had AND HAS a father. A busy father, to be sure. A father who was out on assignment, often gone for so many weeks at a time that his own kid pretty much thought of him as "For-CBS-News-this-is-Dan-Rather-reporting" instead of just plain DAD.

But our topic beginning today is more sober than simply busy, overworked, on-the-road dads. Fatherless America is a new book, very recently published, that has absolutely STUNNED our nation. Author David Blankenhorn, founder and president of the Institute for American Values, often has a byline in Time and Newsweek; his articles have been in major newspapers throughout North America. And he has written a shattering portrayal of the pain that comes when kids today grow up in homes where there is no father.

You know, for decades and now even centuries, we've been divided by issues like race and religion. But according to Blankenhorn, there's a new factor that threatens to sweep all the others away. Even by page two in his book, Blankenhorn has this to say:

"After the year 2000 . . . the United States will be a nation divided into two groups, separate and UNEQUAL. The two groups will work in the same economy, speak a common language, and remember the same national history. But they will live fundamentally divergent lives. One group will receive basic benefits — psychological, social, economic, educational, and moral — that are denied to the other group.

"The primary fault line dividing the two groups will not be race, religion, class, education, or gender. IT WILL BE PATRIMONY. One group will consist of those adults who grew up with the daily presence and provision of fathers. The other group will consist of those who did not. By the early years of the next century, these two groups will be roughly the same size."

That's hard to believe, isn't it . . . but all the statistics and charts and cold numbers are right in front of us. "Did you grow up in a home with a dad, or didn't you?" In the 21st century, that may well be THE defining question that determines what happens to our children.

Now friend, The Voice of Prophecy is here to be a redemptive ministry. It's easy to blindly throw rocks out at the shadows of our turbulent society, especially from behind this soundproofed and glassed-in recording studio. But I KNOW beyond any doubt that many of you listening on this Monday are struggling to survive in the very circumstances that we describe right here.

You're a single mom trying to fill in for a husband who left home. You're a teenager who never had a clue who your dad was. So as we paint some broad brushstrokes that describe the dilemma we face as a society, I want you to know that we DO care, that we DO hunger for answers, and that God in heaven cares as well. We're in this mess because we all — and I do mean ALL — have so often ignored His blueprint.

And yes, we do want to look for some answers too. I appreciate the way Mr. Blankenhorn's book spells out some very clear, orderly steps that ought to be seriously considered and carried out.

One paragraph in this troubling book truly does hit us in the face here in the 1990s. And maybe as you watch sitcom television tonight or tune in to some tabloid TV, you'll take note of what I'm about to say next.

"In addition to losing fathers," Blankenhorn writes, "we are losing something larger: our IDEA of fatherhood. Unlike earlier periods of father absence in our history, we now face more than a physical loss affecting SOME homes. We face a cultural loss affecting EVERY home. For this reason, the most important absence our society must confront is not the absence of fathers but the absence of our BELIEF in fathers."

The steady drumbeat of the last few years, and maybe even decades, has basically been these four words: "DADS? WHO NEEDS 'EM?"

I had the chance to read a note that a father had sent home to his wife while off to the battlefields. Here it is, in all its stark, gunpowder-smeared sincerity:

"I think of you . . . and wish I could be there to send Ed to bed on time; should I ever reach home again I feel thankful to think I am spared on Edwin's account as I know he will grow up a bad boy unless some FATHER guides him."

That was written by a Civil War soldier in the year 1863. But attitudes and statistics are much different as we think about it today, aren't they? As our author puts it, it's been a slow process before we arrived at Humpty Dumpty time, when fatherhood finally broke apart. He describes the fragmenting process from that bloodstained Civil War soldier writing to his wife down to today, as we've experienced the "(quote) steady diminishment of fatherhood as a social role for men."

"Within the home," he observes, "fathers have been losing authority; within the wider society, fatherhood has been losing esteem. Many influential people in today's public debate argue that, when all is said and done, fathers are simply not very important."

There's not much in this hard-hitting book that's very cheerful or amusing. But he DID describe one focus group for husbands who WERE still in the home . . . and how they experienced that sense of diminishment. One man wisecracked:

"Even though the man is the head of the family, the woman is the neck, and she turns the head anyway she wants."

Not to be outdone, another husband added, that according to his wife, she ran the train and she let him blow the whistle every now and then.

Well, I appreciate a good henpecking story as much as the next man, although that's not our topic this week. Because the dilemma we're facing now isn't so much a dad's shrinking role IN the home; it's the fact that Dad just plain isn't there at all . . . and no one really minds very much anymore.

In a 1991 book entitled Do I Have a Daddy?, a preschool boy has a conversation with his mom.

"What about Daddy? Didn't he want me?" asked Eric.
"Your daddy was excited. He came to see you when you were very little. But then he went away."
"Did he like me?" asked Eric.
"Oh yes! and he was very proud of you," Mother replied.
"Then why did he go away?" asked Eric.
"Caring for a baby is a big job," said Mother. "Your daddy wasn't ready for that."
"Oh," said Eric.

And that's pretty much it. Dad just isn't there, and all of society is covering for him. On the very next page from where we found this sad little conversation recorded, the author observes:

"From THIS perspective, the way to help fatherless children is to provide them with REASONS, which substitute for FATHERS."

And friend, I think right here is perhaps the cutting-edge challenge we face. YES, our hearts ache for those caught in this spiral. YES, we have to reach out and help single moms and fatherless kids and people in shaky marriages. The Word of God has answers; loving Christians with helping hands can work wonders. But we also have to get past the popular idea that it just doesn't matter! We've got to stop pretending that bad is good and good is bad.

Here's Blankenhorn's final thought-provoking sound-bite for today:

"Today's `(quote) expert' story of fatherhood largely assumes that fatherhood is superfluous. More precisely, our elite culture has now FULLY incorporated into its prevailing family narrative the idea that fatherhood, as a distinctive social role for men, is either unnecessary or undesirable."

And we didn't begin heading down this slippery slope with the recent Murphy Brown flap. He adds this:

"There is nothing new or trendy about scholars who downplay the importance of fathers. The axiom that fathers are essentially superfluous has constituted a major belief among social scientists for at least two decades."

What happens to a boy or a girl whose dad is gone — or was NEVER there? What's the economic effect? The spiritual effect? All this week we'll be looking . . . and asking God for guidance and answers and a compassionate heart. Please do stay with us.