P.O. Box 53055    
Los Angeles, CA 90053   

LAST BUT NOT EASIEST #9

THE BIGGEST DOLL COLLECTION

Today . . . a few words about boats and Barbie dolls.
It was reported in Harper's Index, and then reprinted in the Christian magazine Leadership, that a man in Maryland won a brand new motorboat a couple of years ago by KISSING said boat for 59 consecutive nonstop hours. That's right: after smooching a boat for 59 straight hours, they finally gave it to him. You talk about loving something, as the Bible says, "with all of your heart and all of your soul and all of your mind." Not to mention your lips.

So that's a Boy Toy, and a certain amount of dedication. Over on the female side of the wish list, it's been noted that March 9, 2002, marks the 43rd anniversary of the phenomenon known as "Barbie." That's right. Clear back in 1959, on March 9, stores first introduced the little dream doll with the blond hair and the perfect figure. And for 43 years now, little girls, and some big girls too, have been announcing: "We're into Barbie." Of course, if your neighbor has six Barbie outfits, and you only have five, well, that's not going to work, is it? And in 43 years, the makers of Barbie have sold – hold on to your wallet, dads – 800 million dolls.

A great number of years ago – maybe even 43 – humorist Art Buchwald wrote with tongue-in-cheek horror about how he bought his daughter a Barbie doll . . . because all the neighbor girls had one, of course. He soon discovered to his chagrin that every single outfit Barbie needed – airline stewardess, singer, nurse – cost a few MORE bucks. "Pretty soon I had spent $400 to protect my initial three-dollar investment," he wrote. Then, of course, Ken came along, and his daughter needed that too, plus an expensive house for Barbie and Ken. "Can't they just sit on your shelf like your other dolls?" he shouted. And the tears began to flow. "They want to live together as man and wife." The kicker was when his daughter announced that another doll named Aunt Midge was coming to visit. "And she doesn't have a thing to wear," the daughter moaned.

Well, we smile, especially those of us who don't have daughters. The Barbie phenomenon might very well be why my parents had five SONS in five years. But of course, it does point out to us again what a powerful desire is built into each of us: what my neighbor has, I've got to have too. In fact, I need ONE MORE of what he has than HE has, whether it's boats or Barbies or Beatle CDs.

Today a practical question: what can we do about the inner feelings of covetousness? What specifically can we do when our neighbor's shelf is groaning under the weight of all their Barbie dolls or whatever? If we have jealous thoughts, feelings of envy, covetous impulses . . . we can't control THOSE, can we? Are we accountable for the thoughts in our brains?

In her book, The Ten Commandments: The Significance of God's Laws in Everyday Life, Dr. Laura Schlessinger quotes from the old Martin Luther adage:

"It is acceptable for a bird to land on your head, but you don't have to let it build a nest." Then she adds: "HOW do we not let wrong thoughts ‘(quote) build a nest'?"

She then quotes from a Presbyterian colleague, Dr. Robert Kofahl, who makes this suggestion:

"We are exhorted to PUSH evil thoughts from our minds by replacing them with good, uplifting thoughts."

It's a fact, friend: we CAN control our thoughts. We CAN direct our minds to move away from a jealous impulse. You may have to repeat that directive to your brain several times a day: "I TOLD you to get away from there. Now DO it! Move along!" That's all right. You've made a determination that you won't fondle and EMBRACE those impulses, those angry, jealous attitudes.

It's been suggested that you can even PRAY for that person who seems to have those blessings. And you say, "Oh man, I'd rather die." But do you really know what private hurts THEY might be experiencing that you're not aware of? People are often amazed that the person they were so jealous of actually lives a life of quiet, hidden desperation.

In that same book about the Ten Commandments, Dr. Laura tells about a woman who was being eaten alive by her jealousy and covetousness. So-and-so had just landed this perfect job that SHE should have gotten. This was totally unfair! How could she go on? It was killing her. And she admitted: "I don't like myself this way!" Notice the radio diagnosis this radio talk show host suggested:

"When one woman was envious of her friend's new, great job," she writes, "I suggested she throw a congratulations party for her, or send her a congratulatory note, or something that would express the exact opposite of what her envy might lead her to do. Each and every time I have made this recommendation, the caller expressed immediate relief from the ugly burden they'd been carrying, as well as a more positive feeling. In contemplating the good deed, their mind returned to good thoughts. Not only do good thoughts usually result in good deeds, good thoughts can resurrect good thinking."

What does the Bible say? "Love your enemies. Pray for those who persecute you." That's Jesus talking, and of course, Jesus was surrounded by people who had things He didn't have. Money, homes, position. While the Son of Man had no place to lay His head.

But I'd like to emphasize an even broader strategy, one that we described yesterday . . . but come at it today from a different direction. A recent Christian bestseller is entitled Walking In Total God-Confidence, and the author, Donna Partow, confesses freely that she's struggled mightily with feelings of covetousness. Ironically, as a motivational speaker for Christian women, one of her main areas of Barbie-envy, if I can call it that, is when she looks across the speaker's dais, and sees some other well-known personality who's maybe had a more meteoric rise to success. Donna then describes the so-called "Comparison Trap," and relates how she's fallen into it herself.

"I'm ashamed to admit this, but I've played the game, too," she writes. "Sometimes when I see a dynamic Christian author or speaker whom God is using in a mighty way, rather than rejoicing that the kingdom is advancing, I'm overcome with jealousy. Sometimes the jealousy goes a step further and I look for little opportunities to ‘cut her down to size.' It's always a losing battle."

And what's the basic problem? According to Donna – and she's absolutely right – all of us have this HOLE, this vacuum, inside of us. We need more Barbies or more boats or more big audiences cheering our every word. We need more books with our name on them. We're trying to fill that hole with these THINGS that our neighbors have, more than us.

"Some of us are like Leah," Donna writes, referring to the Old Testament Bible character who had to compete with her own sister for sons and for the attention of her husband, Jacob. "We have a hole in our heart the size of the Grand Canyon, so we hand our husband a bucket and say, ‘Here, YOU fill it.' Or we hand it to our church, our friends, or what have you. We fail to realize that filling that hole is something only GOD can do. And He can ONLY do it if we will let Him."

Now friend, let's please keep this straight. There's nothing wrong with owning Barbie dolls. My secretary, Jessica, actually has quite a nice collection going back to her childhood. She blushes and admits that she still plays with them whenever the family has to pack boxes and move, or maybe when her boss causes undue stress in her life. (And then she rips their heads off and throws them against the wall.) But if you want to own a motorboat, and the Lord gives you the resources, that's wonderful. Invite me out the next time you go skiing. If you've written a book or two, praise God that you've used your talents constructively. But the minute we try to use these THINGS, these achievements, to fill up that hole of IDENTITY or self-worth in our lives, we're on a dead-end street going the wrong way. You simply cannot own enough Barbie dolls – even if you personally had all 800 million of them – to be at perfect peace with yourself.

"As long as we think we'll be happy when we have ‘God AND ___(blank)___,' we'll never be able to glorify God," Donna writes. "We'll never be able to give an accurate reflection of who He is."

A little later in the same chapter, which is entitled "The Grand Canyon Within," Donna shares in a very poignant way what God finally seemed to say to her. Here it is, word for word:

"‘I'm enough for you, Donna. Let ME be enough.'" Then she adds: "You don't need God PLUS financial security. You don't need God PLUS a great marriage. You don't need God plus ANYTHING. GOD IS ENOUGH. Will you let Him be to you ALL He wants to be? If you answer yes, He offers you a promise: God is able to make it up to you by giving you everything you need and more, so that there will not only be enough for your own needs, but plenty left over to give joyfully to others." That's II Cor. 9:8.

We said yesterday: it's like jumping off a diving board. Over and over. This is a whole new way of thinking. Because SELF rushes at you every morning. Hey, come over here! Zoom over there! Chase this dream! Buy more dolls! Go! Go! Go! And through it all, God quietly reminds us: "I'm enough for you. I'm ALWAYS enough."
He really is, you know.