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GUARANTEEING YOURSELF A GAMMA GIRL

It was one of the more pleasant Newsweek cover articles to read in quite a while. “Meet the GAMMA Girls,” writer Susannah Meadows proclaimed in her headline. The front cover copy accompanied a picture of Jennifer Teschler, age 15, from El Cajon, California, and announced: “In Defense of Teen Girls: They’re Not all ‘Mean Girls’ and ‘Ophelias.’” That’s making reference to a young female character in Shakespeare’s Hamlet who goes insane after the death of Polonius, her father, and also refers to one of a recent spate of all-girls-are-so-bad-and-whacked-out books on the New York Times bestseller lists: Reviving Ophelia, Queen Bees & Wannabes, Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, The Secret Lives of Girls, and the most edgy title of all: Emily White’s Fast Girls: Teenage Tribes and the Myth of the Slut.

After a Top Twenty list like that one, you wonder what Newsweek is talking about. Why is Jen Teschler doing well at Valhalla High, not on drugs, not in a gang, not a brat or a bully? How can a teenage girl in 2004 be “emotionally healthy, socially secure, independent-minded, and just plain nice”? According to this cover story:

“Jen’s sense of herself is nurtured by supportive, ever-present parents. And her values are bolstered by open discussion at church and a strong faith.”

Reyna Cook, another “Gamma Girl,” goes to the same church Jennifer does. Sunday evenings they have a youth group that talks through Bible passages and shares “joys and concerns.” The girls plan to abstain from sex until they’re married, a concept taught by both their parents and their church group. Emily Waldron, freshman, also 15 years old, has a dad who coaches her soccer team just so he can spend time with her; he gives her rides to and from school each day, and three times a week they go to a gym together for an early-morning workout. In that Queen Bees & Wannabes book, which was at #35 on Amazon’s list when the article came out, Rosalind Wiseman gave parents a Top Ten list of hints. And one of them was this:

“Be a role model. Remember that you have a great deal of influence and power over your daughter. She’s watching everything you do. Use your power wisely.”

Well, friend, that’s parenting advice from two years ago. We can find equally timely counsel written by a man who probably never had kids, writing to people who didn’t have the Internet or Ecstasy designer drugs to deal with, and whose children didn’t have all the competitive pressures of dealing with school cliques, Title IX sports, and girls who are Alphas, Betas, bullies, or queen bee terrorizors. We get a lot of letters from people taking our Discover Bible Course, and they invariably say: “It’s unbelievable how the Bible, that old dusty book, has turned out to be so IN TUNE, so helpful to my problems right now!” And sure enough; in a faded, yellowing letter written in Greek – speaking of Alphas, Betas, and Gammas – to his friends living in Ephesus, this counselor named Paul writes:

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

And then Paul immediately turns to Mom and Dad and says to them, “By the way, folks, here’s what YOU need to do. Don’t bug your kids; don’t hassle them. Don’t get on them for petty things. Don’t drive them crazy with your inconsistency.”

It’s interesting what we can find just in these eleven words: “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” First of all, “obey your parents.” The Bible teaches that it’s important to obey Mom and Dad; in fact, it’s a sin not to. When your parent tells you to come in, and you don’t do it, you’ve just sinned. When you’re supposed to get your homework done, and you skip it, that’s a sin too. Why? Because the Bible says so. We mentioned not too long ago the great jurist, Judge Elbert Tuttle, who was appointed to the bench by President Eisenhower. In his book, Living Faith, another President, Jimmy Carter, tells how Walter Cronkite, asked him, on national TV: “Judge Tuttle, I understand you’ve never drunk whiskey.” The judge said: “That’s right, I’ve never in my life tasted an alcoholic drink.” “How come?” And here was Judge Tuttle’s answer: “Because my mama told me not to.”

So here’s a man who does what he’s told. Mama said not to drink — and he doesn’t. He enjoys a wonderful life, a distinguished career as a legal thinker, a respected judge, a man who never experiences scandal or shame. He’s never pulled over for a DUI; he doesn’t get caught with a prostitute because his mind is clouded by booze. And why does he enjoy all these blessings? Because he obeys his mother, as Ephesians 6:1 says he should. In this Newsweek story, these are vibrant, happy, successful, on-their-way-to-college girls who are doing so well a national news magazine notices them. Why? Because they do what their parents tell them to do.

The Adventist commentary for Ephesians 6 explains that this concept of child obedience is so very fundamental to the Christian faith:

“Throughout Scripture, disobedience to parents is treated as one of the greatest evils,” they write. “Obedience on the part of children is reasonable and just. Of all creatures that are born, a human babe is the most helpless, and for years it is entirely dependent on the kindness and love of parents. There can be no ordered family life without the obedience of the children, for the child is not competent to judge the reason for certain courses of action. But even more important, a child who is disobedient to parents will surely be disobedient to God, for he will know nothing of those disciplines and restraints that are absolutely essential to Christian growth.”

Let’s be sure we notice, as the above passage just did, and as Paul also does, that obedience is linked to its spiritual foundation. Yes, children should obey because they’re small and helpless and because Mama knows better. But they’re also supposed to obey “in the Lord.” What, really, does that mean? In the Tyndale New Testament Commentary for Ephesians, author Francis Foulkes explains that Paul says the same thing in Colossians, adding the line, “This is well-pleasing in the Lord.” Then he adds:

“Even a child in his simple way can know what it means to love in the Lord, and to obey for His sake. Then the reason given for obedience is striking in its austerity: for this is right.”

All of the girls in this Newsweek article have the huge advantage of enjoying being in a spiritual home, a godly, religious environment. So they don’t just obey their parents because it makes sense — and sometimes it doesn’t always MAKE sense. But they obey their parents “in the Lord.” They obey because the Bible says to; they do it because the Fifth Commandment requires it in their life.

We recently enjoyed being at a series of special Voice of Prophecy weekends for our major supporters and prayer partners, and our associate speaker, Pastor Morris Venden, described a scene where a kid is out playing. Mom says: “Come in; it’s about to rain.” “How come?” And she says, “Well, there’s a cloud cover and I don’t want you to get wet.” “How come?” “Because you might catch cold and miss school and I don’t want that.” “How come?” “Well, because the wearing-down of human resistance, and the presence of germs in the environment, and the combination of cold and moisture, etc.” “How come?” Of course, by now the child is sopping wet and Mom feels like an idiot, losing at this game of Twenty Questions.

In another household, a child is playing outside, and Mom says: “Honey, come in, please; it’s about to rain.” “How come?” And she says, very calmly: “Because I said so.” “Oh. Okay.” And a boy or girl learns to do something because Mom said so, and because Ephesians 6:1 says to obey your parents in the Lord. And even then the rebellious child in all of us wants to ask: “How come?” And the Bible answers: “For this is right.” There’s nothing complicated about it; to obey “in the Lord” is right — so do it.

I know we have more parents listening today than Beta boys or Gamma girls, so we need to keep our study directed at you. One thing this means for sure is that, if our children are to obey “in the Lord,” then, Mom and Dad, our parenting needs to be consistent with “in the Lord.” Do you agree? This same Adventist Bible commentary emphasizes that point:

“Children, within their spiritual capacity, should obey from principle rather than from necessity,” they write. “To ‘obey in the Lord’ is to give the kind of obedience that springs from being ‘in Christ.’” And now please mark down this point: “It may also indicate the limitations that are inherent in any human commands, even those of parents to children. Parental requests should be IN HARMONY with the will of God. Parents must take upon themselves the responsibility for any moral misdirection of the child. The awakening conscience of the child must be respected by the parents; only thus could obedience be ‘in the Lord.’”

So, parents, if you would like to experience having a Gamma Girl in your home, then teach them to obey “in the Lord” — the Alpha and Omega.