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How to Get Back at Someone Without Going Backwards

A picture that will be etched in my mind forever is the one of the firefighter in Oklahoma City gently holding the body of a toddler killed in the bombing of the Murrah Federal Building. His bulky fireman’s suit was sooty, and rescue tools hung from his belt. But his face was a study of tenderness, respect, and deep sadness. Did you see that photo?

Maybe you’ve also seen the photograph of a gigantic mother polar bear nose to nose with her fuzzy little cub. When I saw that one, I thought, Here’s this giant beast, powerful and strong, with razor-sharp claws that could destroy any enemy unfortunate enough to cross her path. But there she is, gently nuzzling her tiny offspring.

An aspect of the Fruit of the Spirit we’re going to look at today is gentleness. Gentleness may appear soft and ineffectual, but it’s actually very powerful. In fact, gentleness shines the brightest when it’s joined with strength.

Flip through the pages of the book of Proverbs, for example, and you’ll find that gentleness has the power to defuse anger. There’s a text that says, “A soft answer turns away wrath” Proverbs 15:1 (NKJV). Haven’t we all learned that when we respond to an angry person with equally angry words, the problem usually gets worse---quickly. But if we respond instead with gentleness, the anger seems to evaporate. Would that be showing weakness on our part? I don’t think so. If you’ve ever stood face-to-face with a very angry individual, you know that it requires great strength of character to respond with gentleness. Gentleness is strength under control.
Some people seem to fuss and fight and argue and bicker so much of the time. And when we’re with them, it’s easy to be swept along with their emotions. But the greater power lies with a gentle spirit. Gentleness is a power that’s not only able to transform individuals but even history.
The Bible tells about a time when Jesus and His disciples were walking toward Jerusalem. Just outside the city, Jesus asked several of His disciples to go on into the city and find a donkey for Him to ride. That sounded to them like a strange request, but they did as they were asked and returned with a donkey and her strong, young colt. The truth was, this wasn’t a strange request at all. You see, Jesus knew the Old Testament prophecy of Zechariah 9:9, that says, “Your king is coming to you, He does what is right, and he saves. He is gentle and riding on a donkey, on the colt of a donkey”(NCV). Jesus didn’t want to enter the city as a great general, with force and fury. Instead, He sat on a donkey’s colt, just as it had been predicted. And as that last week of His earthly life unfolded, He faced unbelievable insult, hatred, and violence. But He didn’t retaliate. Even in the face of death, He expressed gentleness.

Gentleness is attractive. It drew people to Jesus, and it will draw people to you. The Bible speaks a lot about what we ought to be like and how we ought to behave. One can’t help but notice that gentleness keeps showing up. If we’re serious about becoming like Jesus, we must learn the mystery of gentleness. It may be the opposite of what we are now, but it’s a quality that others will find irresistibly attractive.

Jesus was the Son of God. He could have honestly said, “I’m wise and powerful.” It would be true and not necessarily bragging. But listen to how He describes himself in Matthew 11:29. He said, “I am gentle and humble-hearted.” He made a special invitation to his listeners. He said, “Come unto me, all whose work is hard and whose load is heavy, and I will give you rest” (Verse 28, NEB).

Many people who were weary, burdened, and discouraged did come to Him. And they found the rest He promised. What drew them to Him? What made them dare to take steps toward One so perfect when they knew themselves to be so imperfect? The answer is they were attracted to Jesus because He was gentle.

The Old Testament prophet Isaiah described the Messiah in Isaiah 42:1-2: “Behold my servant, whom I uphold; mine elect, in whom my soul delights! I have put My Spirit upon him. …. A bruised reed he will not break, and smoking flax He will not quench; He will bring forth justice for truth (NKJV).

What beautiful metaphors.

A bruised reed shall he not break.” In Jesus’ hands, the frail, struggling stem of humanity will not be further broken; in fact, it will be fully restored. When Jesus is there, no one is beyond hope, no matter how hopeless they may feel.

“A smoking flax shall he not quench.” A smoking flax represents a flickering, almost extinguished wick. A sudden movement and the fire will go out entirely. But in Jesus’ hands, the flame will be safe, for He’ll be gentle and understanding.

Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’m just about at the breaking point?” How encouraging to realize that one of the wonderful characteristics of gentleness is that it doesn’t push people over the edge. I want that kind of gentleness, don’t you?

Do you know what I suspect? I suspect that some of us might be embarrassed to be thought of as gentle. It just doesn’t go with our macho image. If you want a biblical example of a macho-type person, then you need to take a good look at King David in the Bible. He was known as the warrior king, one of the Bible’s most powerful personalities. He was anything but a sissy. He did a lot of things right, and he did a lot of things wrong, too. But he was always sorry for his mistakes, and he wrote many beautiful prayers. One of them is recorded in 2 Samuel 22:32.

There he praises the Lord for giving him strength and victory over his enemies. He says, “For who is God, except the Lord? And who is a rock, except our God? God is my strength and power.” And he goes on to mention various ways the Lord helped him win his battles. He adds, “You have also given me the shield of your salvation, and your gentleness has made me great” (v 36, NKJV). What general in today’s army would credit their greatness to being gentle? But David did.

Never has there been a more powerful person who walked this earth than Jesus Christ. Legions of angels were at His command. Demons fled at His word, sick bodies were healed with a touch---even nature could be subdued. Yet He didn’t flaunt it or use His power in any selfish way. He never exploited others. He never threatened others with the powers at His command.

Jesus’ life proved that the greatest display of strength is an expression of gentleness--a sensitive word to a concerned friend, an understanding look when a parent faces a hardship, an act of kindness toward a grandparent, a helping hand for a child. The times when gentleness shines the brightest is when we’re reaching out to someone who needs us, someone who’s counting on our strength.

But a person must feel a degree of self-confidence in order to be gentle. Insecure people are more inclined to put on an outward show of strength. When we’re gentle, we’ll find one of the great mysteries of friendship opening before us. People will be drawn by our gentleness. It will make them appreciative of our help and curious about our inner strength.

In the great cold regions of the North and South Poles, there are huge icebergs floating in the cold seas. You could take all the jack hammers that were ever made and break up the islands of ice. But, except for the little heat generated by the hammers themselves, the pieces of ice broken off will still be rock hard. They may be pulverized but they would still be frozen. However, let the iceberg drift gently into warmer waters, and it soon begins to melt away to nothing.

The fruit of gentleness also melts cold hearts. Imagine what our homes and families would be like if we were to ask the Holy Spirit for the fruit of gentleness. Gentleness will be immediately felt in the way we treat our spouses and children. Then, from our homes, it will be felt in our extended families. Problems that we have on the job or with neighbors will be greatly reduced and even disappear, like a melted iceberg.

Living in the 21st Century isn’t easy. We need to often ask God for wisdom. And He’s ready and willing to give it to us. But notice how wisdom is described: “But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17, NKJV).

But remember this. We’ll never know the extent of our gentleness as long as everything in our life is moving along smoothly, with no bumps in the road. It’s when people mistreat us and the sea of life gets choppy that the real test is on. Can you and I be gentle with others under these circumstances?

I’m excited about what we’ll be like as the fruit of gentleness begins to grow in our lives. So, how do you get even without going backwards? Try that soft, gentle answer the Bible talks about. Get smart, be gentle.

This is Lonnie Melashenko reminding you that it’s always true, God loves you.